Sunday, March 27, 2011

Fukushima Nuclear Country Club: A Modest Proposal

Though it's been two weeks since Japan's devastating tsunami put the Fukushima reactors out of operation, authorities there are no closer to containing radiation leakage. The news gets graver by the day while officials only keep repeating that there's little danger to the public.

Sea water near the plant now shows 1,850 times normal radiation levels. Friday it was revealed that two TEPCO workers got their feet soaked with water irradiated at a level 10,000 times normal. That was at reactor 3, the one that previously most worried experts. Today we read that pooled water tested at reactor 2 rates 10 million times normal. Thousands and millions are very different beasts.

Still, there's a Japanese official to ensure us that there is little real danger: "Certainly we have to be concerned about the fact that the level of radiation is increasing. But at this point, we do not . . . envisage negative health impacts."

That's an official with Japan's nuclear safety agency. Presumably he's talking about negative health impacts on people who live in Kenya or Scotland.

It's time Japanese authorities admit they can't keep a lid on this disaster. And since the experts aren't doing much to improve things, I suggest they heed the advice of someone who knows next to nothing about nuclear energy but who generally shows the highest wisdom in getting out of complicated scrapes: namely myself.

I propose a simple two-step solution to this nuclear crisis.

First, bury the offending reactors under untold thousands of tons of wet cement and sand. The Japanese are masters with cement, most of the corruption in Japan has to do with cementing over areas of public land that don't need it, so why not give all the gangster-run construction companies a huge collective no-bids contract to bury the Fukushima plant? The possibility of burying it has been floated already, and it seems to me time to put it into effect.

Once buried, the Fukushima plant will look like a series of rolling hills or sand dunes. And this is where my innovative second step comes in. What do Japanese officials love more than golf courses?

In my second step, then, the newly buried nuclear plant will be converted to a challenging 18-hole golf course. Near the course will be built mandatory housing for the top 20 TEPCO officials and 30 selected government officials who will join them. These fifty officials, it should be understood, will be required by law to live in this luxury housing complex next to the Fukushima plant.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of feeling sorry for the Japanese people suffering in shelters and for those "suicide workers" forced to try to fix the Fukushima plant. I think it's time the higher ups got closer to the action themselves.

The fifty officials, now obligatory VIP members of the new Fukushima Country Club, will be required to golf at least two 18-hole games per week for the remainder of their lives. While out enjoying the course, each official will carry with him a personal Geiger counter specially rigged to deliver radiation readings to workers who will monitor such readings at a collection center 100 kilometers to the south.

I think the brilliance of my two-step scheme is evident. If strictly implemented, the security of the radiation boiling under the cement and sand dunes will be carefully monitored by the movement of the VIP golfers/inmates on the course above. Everybody wins.

It will of course be up to the Japanese to decide just which of their officials should be relocated to this new elite golf club. But as a special favor to me, who thought up the while idea, I would like them to be sure to include Tokyo mayor Shintaro Ishihara.


dan said...

well said sir....yes bury it...and yes JAPAN is master of public works
CEMENT projects...yes yes yes that book by ALEX KERR says it all and he
after many years for Thailand

dan said...

Alex Kerr's book Dogs and Demons: Tales from the Dark Side of Modern Japan is a ... Works Endanger Japan's Environment | WBUR & NPR - [ 翻譯此頁 ]Even today, on a Saturday, there are construction crews, cutting tile, laying cement. Japan expert Alex Kerr says there are statistics that back up my ... - 頁庫存檔Dogs and Demons - [ 翻譯此頁 ]Dogs and Demons Tales From the Dark Side of Japan By ALEX KERR ... rivers are dammed and the seashore lined with cement, hills have been leveled to provide ... - 頁庫存檔 - 類似內容 - 新增至 iGoogleWindows on Japan: a walk through place and perception - Google 圖書結果
Bruce Roscoe - 2007 - Literary Criticism - 308 頁
Kerr compared Japan's volume of cement production with that of the US and concluded that ... But it doesn't matter if Kerr's calculation is approximate. ...

Ching-yun said...

Most of us took this convenient-living lifestyle for granted without ever realizing what we were paying it for. But perhaps it's too early to think before something really happens.

dan said...

Japan activist warns another 'nuclear quake' looms

TOKYO, March 27
(Reuters Un-Life!?) -

The nuclear safety crisis entering its third week in Japan was not exactly the disaster that long-term activist and author Takashi Hirose foresaw in his book last summer, "Nuclear Reactor Time Bomb".