Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Dear America: You're lucky I'm not there

Super Tuesday is over, and the taste in my mouth is nothing good.

My man Bernie didn't even win Massachusetts. How could it be?

Whatever the reason, I see Bernie's loss of that great state as the writing on the wall. Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee, and it’s largely thanks to her popularity with minority voters.

Come again? Hillary? The choice of minority voters?

Sad but true. It's puzzling to me, and not a little disheartening, because Hillary will do no more for these voters than Obama did. And the only minority community he helped is the one that takes its lunch round Wall Street and calls itself the 1%.

So WTF, America?

Though it’s a hard pill for me to swallow, I have to face the fact that our two parties are going to nominate the candidates I'd have picked last from each party's contestants. With every year that passes for me here in Taiwan, where I've lived and taught since the 1990s, it seems I get less and less American. Though I grew up with you people, I no longer comprehend what motivates you, what is happening in your heads. Is it Dancing with the Stars? Is it “We love you Caitlyn”? Is it USA! USA! USA!

I really have no fucking idea.

Luckily I live abroad, or I'd have flipped out by now and you all would see me in the news as the perp in a mass shooting. Living overseas, I can keep on keeping on as a relatively harmless eccentric.

Somewhere in those fifty states there's a shopping mall full of morons who continue to live and breathe just because I happen to be in Asia.

Yes, you’re lucky I’m not there. And me, I feel lucky too--to be spared the psychopathology that would be my fate if I had to live with y'all.

Eric Mader

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