In an effort to encourage its most important fan base, the National Basketball Association (NBA) will change its name to the CCBAA, effective beginning 2020. The league’s board of directors voted on the name change in a closed meeting Tuesday.
Announcement of the new name, which stands for “Communist Chinese Basketball Association in America,” was given a thumbs up by NBA star player LeBron James, who said the name would show the American league's appreciation for the enormous wads of money Chinese fans spend on overpriced shoes and jerseys and other dumb shit, like watching LeBron play.
“I think it’s a good change,” LeBron said. “I mean, if you is educated, you knows that nationalism is bad. And our old name had national in it. So that’s nationalism. The new name is neutral. Nobody gets hurt.”
Golden State Warriors Coach and Political Philosopher Steve Kerr also came out in favor of the new name.
“In China there are no guns, which are a human rights violation,” Kerr said. “There’s also no Constitution or freedom of assembly, which is good. These things only cause unrest in the streets and interrupt important games or damage shops that sell NBA products. The new name CCBAA will better represent our values.”
An online survey of American NBA fans found that most didn’t mind the name change, while 11% could find China on a map.
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