Saturday, May 24, 2014

Japanese News 日本新聞


JAPANESE NEWS

Was in the living room watching the news today before lunch. A Japanese news channel with Chinese subtitles. There was an in-depth report about a panda that didn't want to be a panda, so it dressed up as a badger and applied to zoo authorities to live in the zoo as a badger. The zoo accepted the application, but soon the zoo's real badgers started complaining to the zoo keepers because the panda was too lazy to dig burrows like they did. So the zoo keepers decided that maybe the panda could dress up as an otter and float in the water with the sea otters. The next segment of the report showed the panda in an otter costume floating next to a talkative sea otter. The sea otter was just starting to teach the disguised panda how to crack clams when my wife came in and said: "Come to the kitchen already! You said you'd help cut the vegetables! And no more BS about how you have to watch the news. This isn't even a news channel. It's cartoons!"

My wife: always splitting hairs like that.

日本新聞

今天午餐前,我在客廳看新聞。是日本新聞台,有中文字幕。他們專題報導一隻熊貓不想當熊貓,所以申請裝扮成獾,去動物園工作。要當動物園的其中一隻獾。他們願意僱用牠。不過過了一會兒,動物園真正的獾開始對飼養員抱怨新來的獾太懶惰,不願像牠們一樣挖地洞。所以飼養員決定把熊貓裝扮成海獺,把牠跟海獺放一起。新聞報導下一段可以看到裝扮成海獺的熊貓漂在一隻海獺的旁邊。當海獺剛剛開始教熊貓怎麼㪣開蛤蜊,我太太進來說:"唉!快來廚房!你不是說你會幫我切菜?別跟我說你要看新聞!這不是新聞台,這是卡通台。"

她總是鑽牛角尖。


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