ZEI: Odysseus Reveals his Identity

King Alcinous, having seen his mysterious guest troubled by Demodocus’ song of the Trojan War, asked him to explain. Wouldn’t he now tell his story? Odysseus saw it was finally time to reveal his true identity. But would the Phaeacians believe him? ZEI students guess how the hero might reveal himself:

YVONNE'S VERSION: “Dear, good Alcinous, just as you say, I have a painful memory from the Trojan War. Twenty years before, when the war started, I was a man who didn’t want to go, but I had to because of the oath. After ten years of fighting, we Greeks won the war, but we were too bloodthirsty: we slaughtered the Trojans without mercy. Our behavior made the gods and goddesses angry, and they made many of us die at sea on our way home. Just as Demodocus sang, some important chiefs are alive and back home. Only one, no one knows where he has gone. Is he alive or dead? And this one, this Odysseus, it is me. After the war, these ten years I have lived on the sea. Once I almost made it back home, but Poseidon sank my boat and drove me away again. Now you all know who I am. My story is over. I hope you can finally help me get back home again.”

JERRY'S VERSION: “Dear, good Alcinous, my name is Odysseus. When I was just a kid, I was out looting and got a boat. The boat was very big and I took it to sea. I moored it on an island no one knew. My friend Agamemnon and I went about exultantly on this boat. We wanted to get here, to Phaeacia, but that night the wind blew a different direction. Finally we disembarked at Troy. There we saw all the people playing a game called “The Trojan War.” Agamemnon and I joined the Greek team. So I killed the enemy quickly. Then I wanted to get to Phaeacia again. My boat sank, but, look, at last I’m here!”

MAY'S VERSION: “I don’t want to cheat you, such a great king. You have treated me so graciously that I don’t want to hide my secret from you any more. Therefore, I will answer all questions you asked. In fact, you just heard my name three minutes ago. Additionally, you all just listened to my story. The truth is. . . I am Odysseus, the real, genuine one, and actually exist. Please don’t be afraid, or look at me with hostile eyes. I lost most of my comrades in the Trojan War, and the others that survived with me from that terrible memory had different consequences each. As your eyes can see, during these twenty years I have led a miserable life, a life filled with sadness and shock. But now, meeting you, I feel that has changed. The Phaeacians kindness has also given me energy, helping me recover from my sadness. What’s more, when I see your friendly people, it reminds me of my home country, Ithaca. I hope to start my journey back soon.”


WILLIAM'S VERSION:

“Dear, good Alcinous, my name is Odysseus, and I come from Ithaca. And the truth is I love Troy. Please don’t kill me.”

This made Alcinous mad. “I’ve given you so much,” he said, “and you still think I want to kill you?”

“Dear Alcinous,” Odysseus said, “you are very gracious. But that I loved Troy is not all. The roads in your country here are very rugged. And sometimes I saw people looting--right here in your country. It means your country is bad. Even Troy, during the war, was better.”

Hearing this, Alcinous drew his sword. “Ithacan liar!” he said. “Shut up!”

He ran toward Odysseus, ready to kill him. But Demodocus stopped him.

“Please, my King, don’t!” he said.

“Alright, alright!” Alcinous said. “Put him in the jail!”

Odysseus was in the Phaeacian jail for four days. Then he escaped from the jail, and entered the palace at night, killing the guards. He took all Alcinous’ money and, stealing a ship, sailed to Libya.


EDEN'S VERSION:

“Dear, good Alcinous . . . Sorry, may I go to the bathroom first?”

“Yes, of course,” Alcinous said.

Then Odysseus ran to the bathroom, locked himself in, and thought about how to escape. But when he tried to open the door again, he couldn’t get it open: it was made of metal and he couldn’t break it. So he finally thought he had no choice. He jumped into the toilet and flushed it. After five minutes of swirling in the cold water, he came out in ZEI . . .

“Noooooo!” Jerry screamed, waking up, the cold air conditioning blowing on his back. “I had a bad dream again.”


SABRINA'S VERSION: “I’m Odysseus, the most genius, handsome, strong, smart, cunning, humble, wise, good-looking, talented, charming, having the greatest physique, the strongest muscles, excellent humor, the highest IQ and EQ, lowest dq., 8G of memory, faster than a speeding waistband, able to leap Taipei 101 without getting a wedgie, the most powerful hero of all the Greeks.”

Want to finally really study the New Testament? This is maybe the best place to start.

Review of: Steven L. Davies, New Testament Fundamentals
Polebridge Press: 250 pp.

Published as a textbook for teaching the New Testament, Stevan Davies' New Testament Fundamentals also serves as an excellent study guide for those who want to work through the New Testament on their own. Many have praised it as the best guide of its kind available, and for good reason. Brilliantly organized and written in a clear, persuasive style, Davies' book strikes a perfect balance between textual detail and the larger points being made. Whether he treats of the Q document, the historical reliability of Acts, or the four evangelists' positions on Torah observance, he stays solidly grounded in the biblical texts while managing to show the modern reader just what was at stake in terms of the historical struggles of the first-century church. He brings the reader to a quick grasp of what the texts, cryptic as they often are, can tell us of the early development of Christianity.

New Testament Fundamentals offers brief introductory sections on pertinent subjects: Davies summarily presents the tools of analytical study, the Roman Empire and Judaism, different movements within second-Temple Judaism (Pharisees, Sadducees, Essenes, Zealots, etc.), and different first-century religions (Roman imperial religion, mystery religions such as Mithraism, hearth religion, etc.). The main body of the text, however, is taken up with a chronological presentation of the major New Testament books. Each book is given a chapter of its own, preceded by a diagram showing where it fits in terms of the growth of the New Testament canon. An appendix includes the complete text of the extra-biblical Gospel of Thomas, which is brought into the discussion in various places.

I find Davies especially strong in his treatment of the four gospels and his analyzes of their differences. Why does Mark present the apostles as bumbling and repeatedly misconstruing Jesus, whereas the other gospels do not? Why do the earliest manuscripts of Mark end so abruptly? Why does Luke's nativity story put so much stress on Mary and Elizabeth, while Matthew stresses Joseph, the Magi and Herod? What of the very different style of discourse given Jesus by John? Davies compellingly analyzes all these problems and many more, showing how they may relate to different ways of understanding Jesus in the earliest decades of Christianity. Readers of these chapters should come away with a renewed appreciation of the evangelists' subtlety as writers.

Whether used as a tool for teaching or a primer for individual study, New Testament Fundamentals offers a carefully thought out, well-balanced approach to the task of interpreting the New Testament. I highly recommend it.

Check Davies' New Testament Fundamentals at Amazon.com

ZEI: New Holidays for Taiwan

Students in my Saturday class had to come up with some new holidays for us here in Taiwan. The assignment was to write a letter to a newspaper editor. It was good to see a few of the kids proposals showed concern for the environment. Here are three:

1. NO PEOPLE DAY

Dear Editor:

Many holidays in Taiwan are boring and useless. It's time we created a new special day. That's why I'm writing to support "No People Day."

For one thing, letting the earth rest a day is a good idea. Also, people can go to other planets to play.

Wouldn't it be great if the earth could be clean again? Just think about it!

"No People Day" is an idea whose time has come.

Sincerely,

Foster Peng

2. DOUBLE-SIDED DAY

Dear Editor:

Many holidays in Taiwan are boring and useless. It's time we created a new holiday. That's why I'm writing to support "Double-Sided Day."

For one thing, the rain forest is almost gone because people cut the trees there to make paper. So we need to protect the forest, or global warming will get worse.

Also, people would learn to cherish having new paper. They would learn that saving paper is very important.

Wouldn't it be great to teach people to face the reality of recycling and reusing paper?

"Double-Sided Day" is an idea whose time has come.

Sincerely,

Kelly Lin


3. NO GAME BOY WEEK

Dear Editor:

Many holidays in Taiwan are boring and useless. It's time we created a new special holiday. That's why I'm writing to support "No Game Boy Week."

For one thing, people could read some good books. Also, people wouldn't become blind and stupid, like many of them are now.

Wouldn't it be great to help a lot of people remember how interesting other things are?

Sincerely,

Amida

ZEI: Odysseus and Euryalus

More student riffs on the Odyssey. . . .

Thinking only of his long-lost Ithaca and with no heart to join their games, Odysseus declines the offer to challenge one of the Phaeacian champions. Euryalus, the champion discus thrower, insults him, saying he doesn’t want to take up the challenge for fear of making a fool of himself. White with anger, Odysseus stands to answer the insult. What happens next?


JENNY LIN’S VERSION:

Without bothering to remove his cloak, Odysseus took up a discus from the field.

“We will compete in the discus then," he said, "your specialty.”

“You could never beat me in any kind of competition,” Euryalus sneered. “But if you want discus, that's fine. You throw first!”

Odysseus stood at the line and turned his body round and round several times. Finally he threw the discus with his full might. Further and further it flew, finally landing on the ground. The crowd cheered.

Odysseus had broken all the records of the previous athletes, including Euryalus.

Then it was Euryalus’ turn to throw again. The arrogant champion spun round and round, and threw the discus. It seemed to shoot out from his body, moving very fast. But it dropped short of Odysseus’ throw.

Euryalus stared at the field open-mouthed. He’d never been beaten before. The crowd cheered for the stranger.


SCHANI LIN’S VERSION:

Odysseus gegen Euryalus! Unglaubliches Sieg fur Odysseus!

Without bothering to remove his cloak, Odysseus stood up and threw Euryalus. Euryalus landed far off the field in a flat of mud.

Then Odysseus shouted to him: “I’ll tell you who I am! I am Odysseus, the champion from Greece. I could easily sheet you out like an arrow, and of course I’ve got the body of an athlete and the heart too! But you’ve got a cheater’s brain. Now I’m very curious really about who taught you those stupid, ill-chosen kid words you used just now.”

But Euryalus didn’t feel shame for his words. He answered Odysseus meanly: “You mad dog! Did I cheat you? Absolutely not! I thought you were a stranger who wanted to reign over us, who came here to dethrone our king. I’ve chosen my words very carefully. My words are simply the truth!”

Odysseus stepped across to field and approached Euryalus.

“I will go home then,” he said, so that no one but Euryalus could hear. “I don’t want to stay on this small, stinky island of rude kids and play games all my life, do I? I’m a Greek hero!”

And Odysseus picked up the muddy Euryalus once more and threw him back onto the field.

The next day Euryalus convinced the king that Odysseus should be taken home to Greece. The king promised they’d send him home soon.

WILLIAM'S EVEN MORE GRUESOME VERSION:

. . . . without taking off his cloak, Odysseus killed Euryalus by the discus. The Phaeacians screamed and murmured. A blind bard with arthritis was distressed. And a man, eating a boar, started to applaud. The other Phaeacians killed him. They fought and quarreled. Then a rank of bear and oxen swayed toward the assembly place. They ate the corpse of Euryalus. The Phaeacians killed the animals. They grilled their meat. They had a barbecue party.

ZEI: Stranger in the Palace

These are some more ZEI student riffs on the Odyssey. . . .

After discovering a naked and battered Odysseus near the shore, the Phaeacian princess Nausicaa clothes him and brings him to the palace. She leads him through the great hall to the King and Queen, but as she does she must walk past a banqueting table of Phaeacian lords, who stare at the stranger entering with the princess. What do the banqueting lords say to each other as they spot the foreign guest?

JENNY'S DIALOGUE:

LORD A: I hope I will be the princess' husband, then all the money will--

LORD B: Hey, stop daydreaming! Our sensible princess would never do this. Unless she were blind that is.

LORD C: Right. My son has all the qualifications to be the princess' husband.

LA: Hey, look!

Odysseus and the princess walk into the hall.

LA: Who is that man?

LB: Maybe he's the princess' prince on a white horse.

LC: No way! My son is more handsome than he is.

LA: No! No! He won't get the chance to loot my princess and my money!

THE KING (approaching): You all shut up!


MICHELLE'S DIALOGUE:

LORD A: (Looks at Odysseus with surprise) . . .

LORD B: (Opens mouth) . . .

LORD C: Wow!

LB: (Hits table angrily) . . .

LC: Ouch! Why are you hitting me?

LA: Are you a man or a little boy? Coward!

LC: But he hit me!

LB: I was hitting the table, baby. But don't you want to marry Nausicaa? Who is this foreigner?

LA: Shut up already, you two!

LORD D: I really wish I were the king so I could kick you fools out of here!


JENNY HUANG'S DIALOGUE:

LORD A: Look! Nausicaa is coming in with another man!

LORD B: Who is he?

LORD C: Maybe he's a diplomat.

LB: He looks very serious, like a god. Perhaps Nausicaa wants to marry him.

LC: So my son's dream is gone! I have to prevent this foreigner somehow.

LA: Do you think we should kill him?

LB: Good idea.

LC: Does anyone know anything about this guy?

LA: Not me.

LB: Hey, listen. He's explaining to the king.

LC: I don't like it at all.

LB: We have to find out the truth about this guy.


EDEN’S DIALOGUE:

LORD A: Who’s the man with the princess?

LORD B: Oh! I know! It’s BATMAN! I’m his BIG fan!

LORD C: Don’t be stupid. Batman has a mask, this guy doesn’t.

A: I think he might be a prince from another island.

C: But why did they find him naked? That’s what I heard at least.

B: Mmm. Maybe he’s really Superman and forgot to buy new red underpants. Maybe his old red underpants--

C: When are you going to grow up? You act like a kid.

B: It’s OK, because as for you, you’re too OLD, that’s why Nausicaa doesn’t like you!

C: What? Say it one more time!

B: She doesn’t like you!

(C punches B)

B: MAMA! MAMA! Owww! It really hurts! How can you just hit me like that? Are you a mad man? They should take you to a doctor!

A: SILENCE! Stop fighting, you two babies! Are you forgetting that she is here?

B and C: . . . Ooops.


MONIQUE’S DIALOGUE:

LORD A: Hey, our beautiful princess is back.

LORD B: Yeah, and with a strange foreigner who’s flattering her.

LORD C: Hey, they’re walking toward the king.

B: What a proud guy. He enters the hall and doesn’t even say hello to us.

C: I think he’s good-looking. He must be good at talking too.

A: Shut up already. Don’t you know that the princess soon will be my wife?

C: Really? I didn’t know that. In fact I think Nausicaa likes me more.

B: No, no. You’re both wrong. She likes me more than anyone else. She always asks me if she’s pretty or not.

A: She asks everyone that. What do you say to her?

B: Do I look like a fool? Of course I say she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

C: She can tell you’re just flattering her.

B: Fortunately I’m not like you guys. You’re always buying her LV and Hermes bags, but she never looks at you. Not once.

KING (coming to the table): Buying who LV bags? What are you all talking about?

LORDS: Uhhh. . . nothing, your majesty.

End of the World Zoo

I'm thinking bioethics laws may be a bit lax over here.

In 2004 an acquaintance of mine in Taipei with connections and a background in genetics got funding and a bit of public space to open a new experimental zoo. Well, originally it wasn't meant to be an entire zoo, just an aviary featuring Taiwan's bird species. But it was going to be an aviary with a difference. He and his investors thought to make millions by displaying not just actual Taiwan birds, but a few "newer things" they'd come up with on their own.

At the time I told him I thought it sounded a bit out of line--modifying bird species I mean. But really I had no idea. To see these pictures I expect there's going to be some quite pissed off people out there.

Just last week they let Alex Worth, a local nature photographer, take some shots in their until now off-limits aviary. They're calling it the "Taiwan Open Aviary." It seems genetically mixing bird species wasn't enough for them: they couldn't resist dabbling in some other species too.

Worth himself is furious.

"I wanted to get it all documented," he told me. "I couldn't believe what was going on in there. It's sick."

But the guys behind all the experiments don't see what the fuss is all about.

"We'd like to start work on improving the human species as well," my friend Chen said at a recent lunch meeting. "We're hoping the world will be so impressed by what we've done so far that they'll realize how interesting we could make human beings."

"Imagine the Olympics with cheetah-humans running for the gold," another of the founders said. "It's really exciting what we could do. And imagine all the new clothing lines--the money to be made! Want a piece of the action?"

I bought into the dotcom boom in 1990s. Then I put my remaining money in the market two years ago. Now I'm thinking: Wow, I should have waited. This is going to be BIG.

Enjoy . . .









I probably ought to get Mike Hunt over at the Disassociated Press on this story. Hunt is the guy who uncovered the Marzipan Babies plot back in 2007. If it weren't for his whistle-blowing back then, we might be looking at a McCain-Palin inauguration next month. Which to me is scarier than any hound-headed parrot.

My Father (by Yvonne)

A short composition by one of my adolescent students at ZEI. The task was to "describe someone important in your life." Yvonne, pictured below, did a great job.

MY FATHER
My father is the most important person in my life. I can’t forget his appearance. He’s fatter than a pig, his feet are bigger than a car, his muscles are bigger than a gorilla’s, his face is more circular than a compass, and he has thick glasses.

He’s fully an adventurer. He’s more sociable than all the dames. With everything he does, after one minute he will start to get bored. He doesn’t care what he will be in the future, and he likes excitement, such as playing with animals.

He has many strange behaviors. He always does 1,440 things each day, he knows everyone in the world, he doesn’t care if he becomes a street cleaner, and he plays with lions at the zoo.

He’s my backer. When I need help, he helps me. He’s a river: he leads my through the wild woods. He’s a bridge: he conducts me so I don’t fall into the crime of river. He’s the warmth, the worm deep in my heart: he’ll share my tears. In my brain, he’s my god, always.

Yvonne is one of the sharpest students I've taught in my years at ZEI. She's creative in her writing, and great at interpreting the stories we read in class.