Sunday, February 24, 2008

Just a Reminder

Cows moo, dogs bark, sheep bleat, horses neigh, donkeys bray, cats meow, ducks quack, roosters crow, lions roar, wolves howl, ants are quiet, pigs grunt, elephants trumpet, hyenas laugh, hens cackle, llamas are usually quiet, moths are very quiet, crows caw, pigeons coo, mice squeak, trout are quiet, moles are quiet, chameleons are quiet, bears growl, oxen low, whales sing, salamanders are quiet, stag beetles are quiet, bass are very quiet, owls hoot, crickets chirp, parrots talk, impala are quiet, manatees are quiet, haddock are excruciatingly quiet, snails are quiet, lobsters are quiet, centipedes are quiet, sloths are quiet; porcupines resist all our efforts at communication: they are quiet; dace are quiet; salmon are quiet; earthworms refuse to tell us what they know: they are quiet; flounder are quiet; termites are quiet; after all our coaxing the mayflies remain quiet; hedgehogs are quiet; turtles are quiet; both the carrot and the stick have proven of no avail: walleyed pike persist in a dogged and perverse silence that apparently nothing will break.

* * *


From: Ryu Makoto
To: Eric Mader-Lin
Subject: SLOTH

Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 07:50:39 +0000 (GMT)

Dear Eric,
I already knew that sloth(s) were quiet.
I vant to be left alone....
Drew Sloth


From: Eric Mader-Lin
To: Ryu Makoto
Subject: sloth(s)


Yes, Herr Sloth, your parenthetical (s) raises a question I had--not about your being left alone but about the plural of sloth. Is it "sloths" or "sloth"? Does one write: "A herd of sloth slowly took over the mall" or "Three sloths together are slower than one by itself"?

This is a sincere question. My unabridged dictionary doesn't give a plural.



From: Ryu Makoto
To: Eric Mader-Lin
Subject: sloth


Two sloths were hanging from a tree
Said A to B, Please let me be!
Sloth B replied,
I thee defy
to tell me whether we should lie
in cloth or clothes
as sloth or slothes.
It seems to me, said A to B,
if goose are geese
then, hanging loose,
we should be "sleaze."

If we are called "edentate" beasts
Then shouldn't we be pluralized like "teeth"?
One slooth, two sleeth?

And you must take care
When talking to a bear.
A pack of bears, when very wroth,
Are oft referred to as "one sloth."

Too bad the plural of toe is never "tee."
For we have sometimes two toes, sometimes three.
If then you take a two-toed sloth to tea
Could two hold up the cup as well as three?
Dear me!

With a Lear in your direction,

If you can't Poet, toe it,


You can frame this by the way... royalties due next month. No sincere answer available. My American Heritage is mute on the topic.


From: Eric Mader-Lin
To: Ryu Makoto
Subject: sloth(s)

Tree-hugging crank,
Sloth sleuth tunes lute
--Loud clank--
Dodges plural,
Pulls poetic rank:
Another toothless
Slowly Learing prank


1 comment:

disdainfulbeauty said...

so she farts. Then all went away. All the dark, stinky filth crowing sight is gone now. I made it so in my ass because the white coats took my uterus. I now have a pink smiley faced uterus sticker on my electronic notebook reminding me always SCIENCE IS EVERYTHING, but the word dictates all understanding. This I understand
more so

than any man could have ever understood before

me. I made the sound of the first sound. It was the forbidden whistle blow over my ass cheeks.

It's true that all farts and fart stains originate from the asshole, and Uranus is surrounded by methane.