Friday, January 13, 2012

Romney Faces Hard Sell with SC Unibrows

A Disassociated Press Report, January 13, 2012, Columbia, South Carolina

Fresh from victories in the Iowa and New Hampshire Republican primaries, frontrunner Mitt Romney faces a new challenge as the GOP contest moves to unibrow stronghold South Carolina.

In a state where more than 80 percent of Republican voters have the single brow genetic feature, new research shows Romney at a serious disadvantage against rival Newt Gingrich.

"Our study shows a clear pattern nationwide," University of Wisconsin-Madison anthropologist Doreen Klein says. "Among voters whose eyebrows separate over the bridge of the nose, Romney has a 14 percent lead. But among those voters who have a single eyebrow stretching across the forehead, Romney shows less than 4 percent support. Gingrich meanwhile comes in at 59 percent."

The Gingrich campaign is making the most of South Carolina's strong unibrow presence with a series of aggressive TV attack ads.

"We're going to hit him hard," Gingrich campaign staffer Dave Carney said.

The first of these ads, unveiled Wednesday, shows Gingrich in a loincloth roasting slabs of an unidentified large mammal over a fire. The ad then cuts to footage of Mitt Romney in a Parisian restaurant speaking French to a waiter.

"I'm Newt Gingrich," the ad ends with the candidate standing before a cave painting of running bison. "And I know what's good for South Carolina."

Unibrow and South Carolina resident Tracy Klugian at a Tea Party rally to kick off the Republican primary. "I don't know who I'm supporting yet," says Klugian, "but I'm Republican all the way. We've had enough of these foreign presidents recently."

Unibrows have a long history in the Republican Party. In this undated file photo, ex-president George W. Bush is shown with the trait. Advisers later persuaded Bush to begin shaving above the nose.

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