Leaked text of the speech the president plans to give:
“Today we come together as Americans to commemorate a sad day in our history. It was two years ago today, September 11, 2019, that a mysterious virus jumped from an animal to a person in a wet market. I won’t name the country where that wet market is located, because they’ve instructed me not to.
“But the thing is, that virus spread. And in two short years, it has changed the world. Though we still don’t know what kind of animal transmitted it, there’s one thing we’re certain of. That animal had been driven from its natural habitat by the ravages of climate change.
“How many have we lost to this scourge? The numbers are staggering. But it stops today. My administration has promised to leave no American behind, and we won’t. That’s why I’m strengthening our mask mandates and making vaccines mandatory for all federal workers and most workers in the private sector.
“These vaccines are safe, and they work. If you’re vaccinated, you are fully protected from getting the virus, unless you are around unvaccinated people, in which case they might spread it to you and you might spread it to others. Though of course, if you’re vaccinated you can’t spread it to others if they’re wearing a mask.
“We must not betray all those who’ve already sacrificed so much in this battle. Which is why I’ve chosen to announce these new policies today, a day that Americans will never forget.”
Check out Idiocy, Ltd. and begin the long, hard reckoning.
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